Bet you never knew that

Index page

It was George Santayana that said, “Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it.”

I recently came across a book that contained answers to exam questions as given by American college and university students. Some of them make our local students look like geniuses. And let’s face it, that takes some doing to say the very least.

Some of these answers defy belief,  but at least they must have given those poor souls that had to grade the papers a bit of amusement. And I somehow suspect that many of these students would have been doomed to repeat history the next year. Take a look at some of the answers given.


World War II

“The Germans took the by-pass around France’s Marginal Line. This was known as the ‘Blintz Krieg’. The French huddled up and threw sneers at the Germans.

Japan boomed Pearl Harbour, the main U.S. base in Southern California. American sailors watched in shock as the sky filled with Japanese zebras.”

There you have it; World War II summed up in a few sentences. But, if I may, I would like to point out a few minor errors.

The French defensive line was known as the Maginot Line. The Germans did by-pass it by attacking through Belgium and going around the Maginot Line. The Germans used a tactic known as Blitzkrieg (Lightning War).

I also believe that the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbour, not boomed it. And while the US Navy does have a base in San Diego, Southern California Pearl Harbour, however, is 6,521 km away on the island of Oahu, Hawaii.

And lastly, the sky was probably filled with zeros and not zebras. The Mitsubishi A6M Zero was a long-range fighter aircraft used by Japan.


“Germany invaded Poland, France invaded Belgium, and Russia invaded everybody.”

Those sneaky Russians, invading everybody like that.


“Hilter’s attack on Russia was secretly called ‘Operation Barbarella’.

The German invaders were popular for a while in Russia, but their habit of slaughtering innocent civilians tended to give them an image problem.

The Russians defended Stalingrad feercely as the city was named after Lenin.”

The German invasion of Russia was code-named Operation Barbarossa.

Naturally when you go around slaughtering innocent civilians it is going to give you an image problem.

Stalingrad was, of course, named after Joseph Stalin himself. You’ll probably find that Leningrad was named after Lenin.


“Hitler, who had become depressed for some reason, crawled under Berlin.

Here he had his wife Evita put to sleep, and then shot himself in the bonker.”

Hitler had become depressed. Who would have imagined it. By April 1945 the war was almost over and Hitler had lost. By January 1945 Hitler had retreated to the Führerbunker under the Reich Chancellery.

On the evening of April 30, 1945 Hitler committed suicide. His wife committed suicide a few minutes before him. Her name was Eva Braun and Hitler had only married her the day before.

So Hitler actually shot himself in the bunker, and not the bonker.


“Unfortunately, the Second World War was not concluded until 1957.”

It actually ended with the surrender of Japan on September 2, 1945.


“War screeched to an end when a nukuleer explosion was dropped on Heroshima.”

First of all, you can’t drop an explosion. You can, however, drop a bomb that will cause an explosion.

This is what happened on August 6, 1945 when the Americans dropped an atomic bomb on the Japanese city of Hiroshima. The bomb caused an atomic explosion, not a nuclear one.


TORA, TORA, TORA: Japanese Zebras boom Pearl Harbour.

The Modern Era

“Wars fought in the 1950’s include the Crimean War, Vietnam, and the Six-Minute War.

John F. Kennedy worked closely with the Russians to solve the Canadian Missile Crisis.”

Wrong on all accounts. The Crimean War did take place during the 50s, but it was the 1850s (October 1853 – February 1856).

The Vietnam War lasted between 1955 and 1975, but it was only in the 1960s that America become heavily involved.

The 1967 Six-Day War between Israel and the Arab nations was named that because the war only lasted six days - not six minutes.

John F, Kennedy did not work closely with the Russians. In fact he threatened them. The Russians had set up nuclear missile bases on the island of Cuba. Kennedy felt that these were a direct threat to America and he told the Russians to take them down and remove the missiles back to Russia. Otherwise he would consider military action.

The US Navy and Coast Guard set up a blockade around Cuba. It was perhaps the closest that the world ever came to a nuclear war.

Eventually the Russians backed down. This incident became known as the ‘Cuban Missile Crisis’.


The Cold War

Martin Luther Junior’s famous “If I had a hammer” speech.”

I know that Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream. I had no idea he had a hammer as well.

If I recall If I Had A Hammer was a hit song for Pete Seeger back in 1956. Peter, Paul and Mary also had a hit with the song in 1962, as did Trini Lopez in 1963.


“World War II became the Cold War, because Benjamin Franklin Roosevelt did not trust Lenin and Stalin. An ironed curtain fell across the haunches of Europe.”

I think that when the ironed curtain fell it must have fallen onto this guy’s head.

Benjamin Franklin, one of America’s founding fathers, died on April 17, 1790. A bit before World War II.

At least Franklin Delano Roosevelt was around for most of World War II. But he died on April 12, 1945, before World War II ended.

And Vladimir Lenin was another not around for the Cold War. He died on January 21, 1942.


“The Berlin Wall was built somewhere in Europe. President Kennedy soothed the masses, however, with his story about ‘Itch Ben the Berliner.’”

The Berlin Wall was built somewhere in Europe - Berlin may have been a clue.

And what Kennedy actually said back in 1963 was “Ich bin ein Berliner.” Which roughly translates as “I am a citizen of Berlin.”


“Actually, the fall of empires has been a good thing, because it gives more people a chance to exploit their own people without outside interference.”

Actually, I would have probably given this student 100% for this answer.


So there you have it. History rewritten by some of the greatest college and university minds the United States has to offer.

God bless America.

Top of page